The Evolving 40

“Have I evolved?”

It’s a question I ask myself periodically, usually when I’m running into the same kinds of obstacles I’ve encountered since I was a teenager. Self-doubt. Impostor’s syndrome. Anxiety. Depression. Frustration with not accomplishing everything I want to (in a day, in my lifetime to date).

With my 40th birthday approaching, I wanted to show myself how much I’d evolved over the years. I wanted to recognize that in spite of having plenty more growing to do (don’t we all?), I’d done a lot of work on myself over the years and am a better human than before.

I decided to post a daily reflection on 40 themes that opened a different window into how I’m evolving in this season of life. Most are aspirational values (joy, compassion, creativity). Some are more challenging emotions and habits (jealousy, fear, people-pleasing). My experience with each one was different at age 20, and I expect it to have shifted again by age 60 and beyond. They’re like mile markers on a path, a place to pause and reflect on how far I’ve come.

Start Where You Are

Wherever you happen to be in life, and whenever you come across this project, I’d love for you to do this practice yourself, posting your own reflections and tagging anyone who may be interested. You can comment on my posts on Instagram at @evolvingperfectionist or post on your own social media with the hashtag #evolving40 (consider making those posts public so your fellow perfectionists can see them!). They can be as short or as long as you like. You can participate for all 40 days or pop in as you feel inspired. 

Change Starts with Us

You might wonder if this kind of practice is too self-focused at a time when the world around us is in so much need of change. A couple of thoughts: 

2020 set the stage for an overhaul of our priorities and plans; it has been a catalyst to think about what we stand for and how we want to be living. As we begin to re-engage with the world, it’s important to do it with intention, reflecting on how we can best contribute.

I believe that, as Mary McLeod Bethune said, “The progress of the world will call for the best that all of us have to give.” Change work starts with each of us. Through practices like meditation, journaling, and therapy, we ground ourselves and can better show up for each other — and first, for ourselves — with clarity and compassion. 

Read on for The Evolving 40. Here’s to evolving ourselves and our world together. 🙌📈