Day 10: Fear
#evolving40 Day 10: #Fear
It’s an appropriate moment to be writing about fear, when there are new COVID spikes around the country, including a new daily high of 1,092 cases here in Mississippi. I’m feeling upset with the people who aren't wearing masks and socially distancing. I'm afraid of what will happen in the coming months.
This COVID-related fear is on top of the worry and anxiety that many of us experience within our own minds when everything is normal. It's a lot to carry around.
So what can we do when we’re in fear?
On her podcast, Unlocking Us, Brené Brown concludes her interviews with a set of rapid-fire questions for her guests. One is this: “You’re called to be brave, but your fear is real and it’s stuck right in your throat. What’s the very first thing you do?”
Her guests respond in various ways:
“Think about what the right thing to do is, and focus on that rather than my fear.”
“Flip a coin back and forth between my fingers.”
“Take a deep breath.”
I’m in the last camp. My instincts may scream “panic and run,” but my wiser self remembers the calming tool we always carry with us: the breath. There are different breathing techniques you can use, but the pause in activity and the surge of oxygen to the body are most important.
At the beginning of the pandemic, Elizabeth Gilbert gave a talk on Facing Fear with a Compassionate Heart (linked below) that gave me such comfort. When she’s terrified, as she says she often is, she opens her journal and writes a letter to herself from unconditional love, with words like:
“I’m right here, Liz, I love you. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. I see how much you’re suffering and I’ve nothing but time to sit here and be with you. I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. Whatever. This is, we will face it together. You are not alone.”
Instead of berating ourselves for being afraid, we can imagine what we’d say to our dearest friend, or our children, if they came to us in fear. Then we can offer ourselves that same compassion and unconditional love. Our breath and our words are gifts that we can give to ourselves at any time.
* How I’ve evolved: I’ve learned to make friends with my fear instead of denying it or pushing it away. I’m grateful to it for saving my life countless times. I’m better at channeling that fear and, as Susan Jeffers wrote, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
* How I’m evolving: I tend to be afraid that I can’t handle what comes at me, and I’ve been telling myself throughout COVID, “You can do hard things. Whatever comes up, you will figure it out.”
Elizabeth Gilbert talk (audio + transcript): https://insighttimer.com/…/elizabeth-gilbert-fear-compassion
Brené Brown's Unlocking Us podcast: https://brenebrown.com/unlockingus
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If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:
- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.
- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
- Length and format are up to you.
- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.
- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.
