Day 9: Love
#evolving40 Day 9: #Love
When I think about all of the love I have in my life, I get a little misty-eyed. I think about my immediate and extended family, the friends I’ve come to know during different seasons, and the family that Darren and I have created together.
I’m infinitely grateful for the way love shows up in my everyday life:
- The comfort of knowing that my family and Darren's would do anything for us
- The friends who have been in my life for decades and have seen me through it all
- The way that Darren loves me for exactly who I am
- The joy I feel when I pick up the kids from school and they light up to see me
- The text threads that I have with my girlfriends and various constellations of family members
- The many ways that my loved ones have shown up for my family during our major life events: our wedding, the birth of our kids, and during Avery and Darren’s various hospital stays
It’s easy for me to love other people, but absurdly difficult for me to love myself. Perfectionism is a beast that requires flawlessness before it offers love. And since perfection is a delusion, that love never comes. Although this doesn’t naturally compute for me, I’m starting to internalize that I’m worthy of love no matter what I do or how well I do it -- that worthiness is a birthright.
There are a great many areas of my life where I’m striving to do better, but love is one that consistently feels full. It’s the thread that pulls me through the difficult times. I will never take it for granted, and day by day, I’m learning to offer a little more to myself.
* How I’ve evolved: I’ve learned that with the people I love, there’s no win if they lose; we succeed or fail together. I’m learning to respond with empathy first in challenging moments, rather than the anger or annoyance that tend to be my go-to’s.
* How I’m evolving: I’m learning that we can love other people better when we love ourselves first. I’m getting better at putting down my devices and being fully present with the people I love when I’m with them. As Amanda Meyncke says in her signoff on the Happiness Spells Podcast, “Love is the same thing as paying attention.”
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If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:
- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.
- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
- Length and format are up to you.
- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.
- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be!
