Day 8: Impermanence
#evolving40 Day 8: #Impermanence
During total COVID quarantine, I thought about impermanence every day. “There will be an ‘after this,’” I’d tell myself, even though it was uncertain when, or how.
I think it’s because I feel emotions so intensely, but it seems like however I’m feeling in the moment (anxiety, elation, frustration, or gratitude) is going to last forever. It’s quite possible that U2 wrote the song “Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of” about me. 🙂
Glennon Doyle says that when she feels depressed, she forgets what she’s doing in this world and what she liked about it before. I relate to this so much. And when I’m happy, I have stars in my eyes and a song in my heart, and it’s hard to remember what it’s like to feel sad.
I took a cue from Glennon and began to write notes from my Up Self and my Down Self so I can remember what one feels like when I’m in the thick of the other. Reading them reminds me that this wide range of emotion is normal within a human being. Even if I feel stuck in a moment now, “This, too, shall pass.”
I remind myself of this impermanence in moments of suffering, like when Evan is disrupting the whole house with one of his defiant moods, or when Avery wakes me at 4 a.m. AGAIN.
I also let it remind me to savor the good, to drink in the fleeting moments of joy. I’ll snap a mental picture of Avery in her pink Peppa Pig pajamas, with her chubby belly peeking out; I’ll pause to feel the quiet contentment of reading to Evan at bedtime before he decides he’s too old for it.
Impermanence is a healing balm for perfectionism, too. Because each moment is a fresh start, whenever we make mistakes (and oh, we will) we have the opportunity to begin again.
* How I’ve evolved: I’ve accepted that all emotions are valid and impermanent; it’s healthy to feel them all and let them move through us.
* How I’m evolving: When I start to get hooked or triggered by something, I’m aware of it and can let it go more easily, instead of clinging to it and prolonging the suffering.
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If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:
- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.
- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
- Length and format are up to you.
- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.
- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be!
