Day 12: Joy
#evolving40 Day 12: #Joy
Even in the darkest times, we can find joys big and small that give us hope. This evening, waves of joy swept throughout Mississippi and beyond, because our state flag (containing the Confederate battle flag) is poised to be changed at long last. It’s a huge bright spot during a period when we could all use a sign that things are getting better.
For those of us who struggle with perfectionism, and the anxiety and depression that often accompany it, joy can be elusive and fleeting. Every situation could always be a little bit better, if only THIS were different....if I’d had time to mop the floors before guests came over, or make the dessert instead of buying it. This kind of thinking is a trap. Because perfection doesn’t exist, it cannot be a prerequisite for joy.
Joy is also a vulnerable emotion. Brené Brown writes, “I think the most terrifying human experience is joy. It's as if we believe that by truly feeling happiness, we're setting ourselves up for a sucker punch.” She goes on to say, “I believe joy is a spiritual practice we have to work at.”
During the past few months, I’ve been working at noticing and savoring moments of joy. Like many of us, I was in serious need of joy during total quarantine, so I began sharing 3 Good Things from each day on social media. I took at least three photos throughout the day that captured these moments. This practice trained me to look for joy even when I wasn’t feeling it, and relive it as I was reflecting back on the experience.
Whenever I need a reminder of the many joys in my life, I scroll through the photo gallery on my phone. I see dozens of everyday joyful moments: Avery snuggling our dog, Lily. Evan proudly holding up the first tooth he lost. Darren and me on a lunch date on our first kid-free day after total quarantine. The way the tree in our front yard glows in the afternoon sunlight.
If we can get out of our heads and ground ourselves in the moment, there is always a simple joy -- and likely an abundance of them -- right in front of us. And we can teach ourselves to savor them just a few moments longer before moving on with our day.
* How I’ve evolved: Allowing myself to feel joyful even when things are imperfect. Rooting myself in the moment fully.
* How I’m evolving: Letting simple joys shift me out of a dark mood. Intentionally building moments of joy (dance parties, family LEGO time) into my day.
Brené Brown on the fast track to genuine joy: www.oprah.com/…/catastrophizing-how-to-feel-joy-without-fear
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If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:
- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.
- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
- Length and format are up to you.
- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.
- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.
