Day 17: Curiosity
#evolving40 Day 17: #Curiosity
One of my favorite things about having kids is the random questions they ask. When Evan was five, I started a Google Doc called “Evan’s questions about life” that contains the following:
"Mommy? Daddy?
What do turtles eat?
Do dogs sleep at night?
Do dogs like mud?
Do dogs like water?
Do worms sleep?
Do cowboys exist in our world?
Are mermaids real?
How does the water get to our house?
What do eels eat?
Are there 2 million sharks in the sea?
What do pigs eat?
(At 3:30 in the morning) - Can cats run really fast?
Do pterodactyls eat fish?
(When he's supposed to be going to sleep) Can bunnies catch cold if they're out in the rain? Can white tigers hide?"
Now that Evan is almost 7, he asks questions about which spiders and snakes are the deadliest, and what unfamiliar words mean -- like “Helix Nebula” on our Exploring Space puzzle. Darren and I say, “Let’s look it up” or “Ask Alexa” because a lot of the time, we have no idea. (Evan also loves to ask me to say, “I farted” in Spanish. It’s “Me tiró un pedo,” if you’re curious.)
During quarantine, Evan and I watched a lot of Mystery Doug videos together. Doug Peltz is a science teacher who created a science curriculum that starts with kids’ questions about their world. They send in videos asking questions like, “Why do bears hibernate?” and “Why do we have eyebrows?” Doug and his team make engaging video replies, building in a pause to ask viewers what they think the answer is.
If I had a day completely to myself, I’d spend it following my own curiosity -- perusing my stacks of to-be-read books and magazines, reading the articles I’d long ago bookmarked, watching TED talks, and Googling things I’d like to know more about.
Curiosity is helpful when we’re frustrated or angry, too. I can’t say I’ve mastered the advice, “Don’t get mad, get curious,” but I’m getting better at it. Instead of assuming and reacting, it’s more helpful to ask questions like, “I’m wondering…” “Can you say more about that?”
Curiosity defuses tension and seeks understanding. It can stop us from getting upset with ourselves for feeling things that we don’t want to feel (fear, shame, etc.) if we ask: “What am I feeling right now? Where in my body do I feel it? What’s that about?” It's an exercise in self-compassion.
* How I’ve evolved: I’ve mostly shifted from seeking knowledge to “fix" myself to seeking it out of true curiosity and the desire to thrive. It’s like learning to eat for enjoyment and nutrition instead of filling a void.
* How I’m evolving: When I can practice the pause in moments of tension, it opens the space for me to get curious. A couple of times when Evan has resisted a request I’ve made and I paused to find out why, we've problem solved together and both end up satisfied with the outcome.
Link:
--
If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:
- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.
- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
- Length and format are up to you.
- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.
- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.
